by Trinity S. Thomas on November 16, 2010

Sometimes a person has to call a conference of all the characters within who have to get in synch with each other to move forward in life. Negotiations may be required.

I’ve found my Inner Rebel, the grown up version of my Inner Brat. She doesn’t want to…..whatever. She doesn’t want to make green drinks every morning because it’s too messy, takes too long, and doesn’t taste familiar. She doesn’t want to write a chapter “their” way because she only wants to write “her” way. Regardless of the extraordinary gift it is to have someone mentor her, package her love and brilliance in a commercially viable way, and illuminate for her where the segues and bridges are located to take her from where she’s always been to where she really wants to be going. Can you tell run-on sentences could be an issue?

She’s afraid. Afraid of not being enough, of not being good enough, of the changes in her life success might bring. Of the concessions and compromises she might have to make. It might be really hard work. She’s afraid of becoming one of “them.” She’s wary of promises because she lives with too many broken ones, including her own.

She and I are dialoguing. I tell her, “Just make your own promises to yourself. And keep them. Trust yourself to do that. Nothing else matters. You’re all grown up now and you’re in charge.” She’s listening. I can tell because the blender is out and the computer is on and I’ve managed to complete this post!

She and I are learning, or hopefully remembering, what it is to trust ourself and to have that matter most. It’s the whole inner vs. outer authority thing that our culture and perhaps even our world has a bit misconstrued. All outer authority can only be derived from our own inner authority; we need to rotate this reality image of external authority about 180 degrees and look again with new eyes.

But I can’t get too technical or philosphical with my Inner Brat, excuse me, REBEL, at the moment. She is gathering courage like the few unbroken shells on a well traveled beach. When she has gathered enough of just the right ones, she’ll make a beautiful frame for a mirror just big enough for her own reflection. She’ll start from there.

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